IFComp09 Review: Beta Tester
The Interactive Fiction Competition is an annual event that’s been running since 1995 (this is the 15th iteration). Anyone can participate, whether by submitting a game or by voting on the entries. I’m doing the latter.
(I had intended to play all the games in the competition, but after playing a couple, decided to copy Emily Short and ignore those which had no indication that they’d been beta tested. I’d already written the review for this game, so here it is.)
Beta Tester, by Darren Ingram, starts with a lengthy introduction that tells you, the player, that you’re a beta tester for CogCo Industries and their “Virtual Properties” project – in other words, you’re wearing a virtual reality helmet, and will play the game in this virtual reality. For some reason, you’re also wearing a bunny costume. This does not add to the experience.
The premise isn’t terrible, but it doesn’t go anywhere. The play is frankly boring and frustrating: puzzle after puzzle, in a world that feels like a hallucination and that doesn’t respond to simple queries.
The cut scenes (of which there are many) are broken up into short sections where you must press a key to continue. Unfortunately there are too many cut scenes and too many sections (I counted twenty in one scene). I can understand breaking up chunks of text, but when each section is one sentence long, I feel like I’m being treated like an idiot. This theme continues; to make the experience even more unpalatable, the parser is abusive, e.g.
>open door This door is closed. I mean REALLY closed. Hmmmm.....I wonder what that CLASP IS FOR?
The following section of code will hopefully illustrate why I found this game almost unplayable:
Fun N Games Room This is a relatively small room but it is very well-decorated with nicely carved wooden cabinets and tables. The stone floor that runs throughout the rest of the guild hall has been replaced by a dark wood parquay. Several hanging brass lanterns light the room. The exit to the east leads you back to the lobby. There's also a corridor that runs off to the west. You can see Hellaine here. >x lanterns You can't see any such thing. >x cabinets You can't see any such thing.
This is more than enough to make me want to stop playing. (Also, it’s parquet, not parquay.)
There’s also no ‘About’ text, only a set of basic play instructions which, as with the cut scenes, are divided into one-line sections that you read through by pressing any key. Interminable. I read on another blog that you can access a walkthrough by typing ‘walkthru’, but that’s naturally not documented anywhere. It feels like a spoof or a joke at times.
I elected not to finish this game, and will not be voting on it either.